He's like Peter Parker (minus the super powers.)

Okay, so I've come to the conclusion that there's obviously something wrong with me. I think I subconsciously fall for guys I know I can't have. So there's this friend of mine who will remain anonymous, but I've never thought of him of anything more than a friend. I've always thought of him as the dorky; goofball type. The Peter Parker type if you will (minus the super powers). Except I recently saw some pictures of him and in these photos he didn't look dorky at all. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He looked very handsome and grown up. I was seeing him in a whole new light. And suddenly I felt something. I no longer saw him as just the dorky friend type, I saw him as a very handsome and attractive guy, and I felt myself crushing. Now this isn't a crush nearly as bad as the one I have on the guy mentioned in my previous post, but it's definitely a crush. The bad thing is, he just recently got into a relationship with a guy. A guy he's been in love with for quite some time. Which is what leads me to think perhaps I fall for guys I know I cant have, perhaps out of fear of something else..

Misery loves company..

I love my friends to death. And I don't know of any people more deserving of love than my friends. Lately though, I find myself so envious of the fact that so many of my friends are in or are starting relationships. I awoke this morning with a message from a friend mine stating that he had something really important to tell me. I messaged him back and was informed that the boy he liked had asked him out and that they were officially boyfriends. Of course, I was happy for him. He definitely deserves it. He's a great guy. But I found myself frustrated. I seem to be the one my friends always have to go to when they're really into someone and just want to spill about how much they like this person. And don't get me wrong, I LOVE that my friends can talk to me about this stuff, it lets me know that what I think matters. Except lately I just really don't care. I'm so frustrated with my lack of a love life that I'd much prefer my friend's be frustrated and lonely with me, instead of me being the only one. Call me selfish, but what can I say? Misery loves company..

JONATHAN!

..and we were kissing again, slow and deliberate like ice melting on a countertop.

I love to read. Like, really love to read. I didn't always feel this way about reading. I used to hate it with a passion. You couldn't have given me all the riches in the world to read a damn book. My feelings towards books have since changed. What I love the most is, every now and again, you come across a book that you completely connect with. I love that feeling you get when you connect with a story and it's characters. It's no longer a a work of fiction because their story is now yours. It's real. I'm reading The Vast Fields of Ordinary by Nick Burds. I just got it from the library today and more than halfway through with it. I can't put it down, I'm relating to this story so much it's scary. But I love it. I've got to tell myself to slow down because I don't want to finish it it's that good. Anyways, that's all I've really got to say for now. I'm gonna go read some more. So until later, peace!

JONATHAN!

i'm like the worst blogger in the history of blogging..

So I'm probably like the worst blogger in the history of blogging. I started this blog with the idea that I'd be updating this thing constantly with interesting and cool posts. So far, I'm failing miserably. Perhaps it's the fact that I live such a boring life. So far the majority of my summer has been spent in one of two places: my house or Kohl's (that's where I work.) But from here on out, I am going to do my utmost best to try and update this thing as much as possible! I mean, I owe it to my followers. Ahaha, no but seriously, I logged on today only to find out I have like 5 followers. Which was a shocker to me because, well quite honestly I wasn't ever really expecting to have anyone follow me. Anyways.. My first month of summer is over and I've got about 2 more months left. So far I am making NO progress on my summer goals. Which totaly sucks because I keep telling myself I'm going to have this amazingly awesome summer full of life defining moments and memories that'll last me a lifetime and so far the only thing I can think of worth sharing would be witnessing a 2-year-old almost get smashed in the head by the a foul ball at a baseball game (it was hella crazy though!) I'll try to be optimistic though! I mean, I still have two months left of summer and God knows anything can happen in that much time! So until then, peace!

JONATHAN!